Written by Barb Spies, OFS, Director of Mission Services and Pastoral Care

When we discern by asking in prayer that God grant us insight and wisdom in our decisions, we ask that we might carry out God’s holy will, that our hearts will be open to care for all that God loves. When we consider that every relationship carries the possibility of growth, we realize that we  must be kind and patient with others. Henri Nouwen explains that discernment is about listening and responding to that place within us where our deepest desires align with God’s desire. He says that as discerning people, we sift through our impulses, motives, and options to discover which ones lead us closer to divine love and compassion for ourselves and other people and which ones lead us further away. Discernment reveals new priorities, directions, and gifts from God. It leads us to care for people with kindness and patience.

St. Francis modeled for us how we can treat others well. In one story, the brothers are fasting. The story goes that one of the brothers cries out in the middle of the night that he is dying of hunger. Francis wakes up to respond. He decides that they should all get up and eat together. Francis explains to the brothers that excessive abstinence can be just as harmful as excessive eating. Eating this midnight snack was a communal sharing so that the one brother would not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Francis said, “Let each one provide his body with what it needs as our poverty will allow.” In this circumstance, Francis removes himself from the authoritative role, inviting each brother to evaluate his need and act accordingly. He acts with kindness and patience, influenced by his time in prayer, in conversation with God.

As we face the various circumstances in our lives that might call us to react angrily or impatiently, may we pray to be guided by the Holy Spirt to respond in a different way. Holy Spirit, Love of God, send us your gift of wisdom, so that we may discern what is right and just. You made us for joy and delight. Help us to treat others with kindness and patience that they might also have joy and delight.

 Blessed Angela: “Guard against impatience in words and behavior and as much as possible, work on internal impatience.”